dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
