where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
