chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
