i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
