loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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