either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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