Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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