Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize