Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
