She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
