she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
