Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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