Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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