Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
