This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
