woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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