How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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