oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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