Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
