i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
