Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
