over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
