I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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