it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
