No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
