we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
