you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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