dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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