I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
