I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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