This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
