I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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