Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
