I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
