the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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