I didn't shave. On purpose
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
