The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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