i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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