WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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