hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
