dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
