My boss' voice literally gives me gas
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Randomize
