Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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