Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
