last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
NoShamevember. You game?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
