So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
farters have to be the big spoon...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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