I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
