bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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