So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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