Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
