I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
